


On Absence, Fondness, and Never Leaving his Side

by BeautyButterBae



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Almost Adopted Son Yurio, Birthday Fluff, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Engagement, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Rejection, Reunions, Sightseeing in Barcelona
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8781575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautyButterBae/pseuds/BeautyButterBae
Summary: "Would you do me the great honor and marry me, Katsuki Yuuri?"It's all so unreal.And it's really more than Yuuri can handle.(Aka a fic inspired by that tiny scene in front of the Barcelona Cathedral in the preview for episode 10. A story where Yuuri and Victor open up about their feelings on the events of the Rostelecom Cup during their return to Hasetsu from Fukuoka Airport, Yuuri’s birthday is celebrated, a certain marriage proposal takes place and some unresolved issues are finally addressed.)[Post-episode 9]





	

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Decided to change my summary a bit. In case you want to know what the previous one looked like, here it is: Yuuri has many things he wants to tell Victor when he returns to Japan after the Rostelecom Cup. He doesn’t know that Victor has his own share of things he wants to say. It’s only when they’re in Barcelona that they finally get to speak their minds. When Victor speaks his, Yuuri knows that he waited too long. Nothing goes according to plan. Yuuri doesn’t give up. Not when they’ve come so far already.  
> \---  
> Hey, guess who's back to writing fics in under two days. :P
> 
> I started this way too late, but I really needed to get it out there before episode 10 so... here it is! 5 hours before episode 10! xD
> 
> ^Correction, it was originally 5 hours, but then error 503 happened and now it's about an hour and a half before the ep. :/
> 
> This fic is unbeta'ed, so you might encounter typos, things that don't make sense, grammar mistakes and just really really stupid and preventable errors (but I sincerely hope you don't since I've already proofread and double checked it).
> 
> Small warning: some explicit language and mentions of sex? Nothing very explicit though.
> 
> And with that out of the way, I hope you enjoy!

Yuuri wasn't used to having anyone wait for him at the airport.

Granted, part of the reason was the fact that prior to his recent returns from international competitions he hadn't come back to his hometown for the past five years.

He felt that perhaps he should have been sad that back in March, his family couldn't be bothered enough to pick their only son (who they had last properly seen as an eighteen-year-old) up from the airport, but he also understood their reasons. He came back in the middle of the day and the hot springs were usually busy at the time. Not to mention the fact that the trip from Fukuoka airport to Hasetsu by train wasn't exactly a short one. And he was a big boy, he could take a train by himself. Besides, Minako-sensei waited for him at the Hasetsu station and that was more than he could have asked for. He wasn't upset in the end.

But just for once, he wanted someone to pick him up at the airport, to make the effort and take the long trip just for him and just wait for him until he arrived.

Yuuri felt selfish for wishing it.

But after all that had happened during the Rostelecom Cup, was it really too much to ask for?

Yuuri glanced out into the darkness beyond the plane's window and shook his head.

He just wanted to see Victor as soon as he could.

He sighed.

A few more hours by plane, two hours by train and he would finally be reunited with his coach and the dog which caused them so much stress. Yuuri couldn't wait to stroke through Maccachin's fur again. And Victor…

God, these past days without Victor.

He left on early Friday night. Yuuri's flight was early Monday morning, which meant that he would get to Fukuoka no sooner than by late evening, and to his home in Hasetsu past midnight at the earliest.

Yuuri just really wanted to be home already.

He would have never imagined how much every hour without Victor _hurt_.

Considering his plans for the near future, this was a painful realization

They spoke on the phone before Yuuri's flight from Moscow.

"I'll see you soon." Yuuri told him softly.

"I'll be waiting for you." Victor replied with a smile.

Yuuri closed his eyes and reclined in his seat.

He had so many things to tell Victor.

He wondered whether he would even know where to begin when he finally saw him back in Hasetsu.

* * *

Yuuri really doesn't expect to see anyone when he walks into arrivals. He steps forward, lost in thought, exhausted, pained, empty.

And then suddenly a dog jumps up at the glass separating the waiting area from the exit. He would recognize that dog anywhere. It's Maccachin.

Yuuri looks up and sees Victor and he looks hardly better than himself, his clothes disheveled, his expression tired and listless.

And suddenly Yuuri feels he's running, not looking where he's going, his eyes locked on Victor as he follows his suite with that uncharacteristically vulnerable expression. They don't dare to look away from one another for a second as they run to the exit, as though the other would disappear should they even blink.

Yuuri doesn't even know how and when, but suddenly he's by the exit, impatiently waiting for the automatic doors to open, then finally watching as Victor opens his arms, his entire being unguarded, and Yuuri falls into his embrace.

Everything feels so right.

Yuuri is full again.

Like the colors flowing back into his monochrome world, the tension, anxiety and dread escape him, second by second, his body lighter, finally sensing relief.

It's only been a few days but he's been through so much that he needs the hug more than ever. It hits the spot just right.

"Yuuri," Victor begins and his voice is even sweeter than Yuuri remembered it to be. "I've been thinking about what I can do as your coach from now on."

"Me, too." Yuuri admits. The words weigh on his chest and he has to tell Victor, even if it won't be as well thought out as he wanted it to be. He feels like this might be his only chance to say it.

He shuts his eyes tightly, finding the confidence within himself and finally grabs Victor by the shoulders and pushes him away. Victor takes a step back, startled, all but scared and hurt by being rejected so suddenly, but Yuuri catches his gaze and holds it, firmly and fondly all at once. He puts his entire soul into the words. "Until I retire, please take care of me!"

Victor's mouth falls agape as he watches Yuuri, frozen, processing his words.

And then, he smiles.

Gently, he takes Yuuri's hand from his shoulder and softly brings it to his lips. He kisses his ring finger, calm, focused, his eyes closed.

Opening his eyes, he smiles and it's genuine and kind and then he speaks, his voice all but broken, quiet, but certain and serious and sweet. "It's almost like a marriage proposal."

And Yuuri virtually gasps because he didn't initially think of it that way, but now that Victor said it, he's right. And Yuuri is rather fond of the idea of proposing, if only because he wishes he could stay with Victor forever. Yuuri smiles, embarrassed, but happy.

They bring their arms around each other once more, sharing another long embrace.

And then Victor speaks. Yuuri isn't even slightly prepared. "I wish you'd never retire."

Immediately, he can feel the tears welling in his eyes. He would have never imagined that Victor shared at least a fraction of his feelings. Meanwhile, their wishes are the same. The joy of the discovery is completely overwhelming.

If only it were _just_ joy.

Yuuri already decided that he will retire after this year's Grand Prix Final. Which will take place in two weeks. Which means that is all the time he has left with Victor.

If only he could properly tell him about his decision.

He only clings to him harder.

"Let's win gold together at the Grand Prix Final." Yuuri asks through his tears.

"Yeah." Victor agrees. "Let's."

Even if he doesn't win gold, he will have Victor step down as a coach.

He's affected his career enough. Yuuri doesn't deserve any more of his time.

He hopes that he'll be able to tell Victor soon enough.

But at the moment, there is something else he desperately wants to put into words. Yuuri knows he doesn't need to, that Victor knows, but the desire is bigger than anything at the moment. "Victor, I love you." He whispers.

Yuuri can physically feel Victor catching his breath and squeezing him tighter. "I love you, too, Yuuri."

Yuuri realizes that this is the first time they've admitted it out loud. It's been so obvious to them that they never felt the need to say it. Not until now, at least. Not until they've been separated for longer than a few hours and Yuuri realized how much he wants Victor to know his feelings outright and clearly.

And the feeling of hearing Victor echo those very words – Yuuri can't even begin to describe it. He thinks it might be something like winning a gold medal – unbelievable but so _so_ satisfying.

He quickly forgets about was he intended to tell Victor.

* * *

Before long, they let go of each other and Victor offers Yuuri a tissue. The latter accepts it with a smile and shakes his head lightly as they head to the train station, Maccachin staying by their heels.

When they finally find themselves on the train, the car is empty and they hold hands and lean against each other with their sides and enjoy every second of it because this is all they needed ever since Victor left Yuuri at the hotel in Moscow.

They are both tired – both sleep-deprived, Victor from worrying about his dog, and Yuuri from the very early flight. They talk regardless.

"It's been a long weekend." Victor admits quietly.

"Tell me about it." Yuuri sighs. "How was Maccachin doing when you arrived?"

They briefly phoned when Yuuri was still in Russia but they didn't dwell on the details, not wanting to pay the ridiculous fees.

"I got there on Saturday afternoon. They had already operated by then, but he wasn't waking up from the anesthetic. I spent three painfully long hours waiting until he finally woke up. I haven't slept a wink on the entire trip and I was so exhausted…" Victor runs his palm down his face. Yuuri thinks that his exhaustion shows in the bags under his eyes, his hunched posture, his entire appearance. "And _then_ , in the evening, he finally woke up. I was so extremely relieved. They needed to keep him for the night to make sure that he was fine, but they said that in the worst case it would be something really minor. So Maccachin was safe in the end and I returned to your house for the night, reassured. And, well, this is pretty embarrassing but… your entire family apologized to me on their hands and knees. I didn't understand what they were saying but the message got across."

"It was absolutely our fault." Yuuri admits, as though he can take the responsibility when he wasn't even there.

"I didn't blame your family for a single second, Yuuri." Victor smiles, tired, but genuine. "Accidents happen. That's just how it is."

"But it was so preventable…" Yuuri shakes his head, looking down at his lap.

"Yuuri, it's in the past now. We can't change it anymore. What's important is that Maccachin is fine in the end." Victor reminds him. "I got him back on Sunday, as good as a puppy. He promised to never come anywhere near steamed buns ever again."

Yuuri doesn't laugh at the joke. He remembers Sunday night for Victor was his Saturday evening. "You watched the livestream, right?"

"…Yeah." Victor admits and Yuuri immediately feels bad for keeping him up so late at night especially after everything he's gone through that day. "You did well, Yuuri. You got into the Grand Prix Final."

"I know I did. I'm glad I did. But if I can be honest," Yuuri takes a breath and closes his eyes. "It was so hard without you there. I was so stressed. I know I have no right to say this after encouraging you to go home, but it was so hard."

"You have every right to say it. And I understand. But I always believed in you; you're an amazing skater on your own." Victor assures, squeezing his hand tighter. "Though, if I also can be honest, I had worries of my own. I had a moment of weakness while watching you and I thought… what if I'm not meant to be a coach? I mean, not only did I leave you right before the most important performance, I also never taught you the skills to improvise in case something goes wrong in the middle of the program, and… yeah, at the time I just realized how much more I could have done for you."

Yuuri suddenly understands the meaning of Victor's earlier words. _I've been thinking about what I can do as your coach from now on._

Even Victor has insecurities.

"You're the only coach for me, Victor." Yuuri moves so that he's blocking Victor's view, directly facing him, their eyes meeting.

"I know. I'm very happy." Victor smiles, briefly resting his forehead against Yuuri's. "And I _am_ proud of you. Even in adverse conditions, you didn't collapse under the pressure. Considering the situation, you skated as well as you could."

"I was afraid I disappointed you." Yuuri confesses.

"Well, same here. I was afraid you wouldn't want me as a coach anymore." Victor admits. "I mean, it was my fault that you couldn't skate your best after all. I'm the one who added to your stress."

"No, that's not true." Yuuri shakes his head. He would have been stressed anyway, he knows that very well. And it was _his_ decision to skate alone; he couldn't even think of blaming Victor. "You know, at first I was sad that I finished fourth… but then I realized that all that matters is that I'm still in the game. I'll skate in the finals. I'll show the world what I'm truly capable of in Barcelona, when you're there by my side."

"That's just the thing I like to hear from you." Victor smiles, turns his head and presses a small kiss to Yuuri's cheek. They're both silent for a moment before Victor asks: "Do you mind if I ask how it was without me?"

Yuuri doesn't mind at all. In fact, he thinks it's better if Victor knows. "Lonely." He replies simply. "Everything was too quiet. It was so odd to sleep without you in the room; I tossed and turned for the longest time at night. In the day, I kept telling myself that I'll just do everything the way I did when you were there, but let's face it, it's not the same without you there. With no one to comfort me, I did my best to stay calm on my own, and compared to my anxiety before the Free Skate in the Cup of China, I think I did fine, but I felt absolutely empty on the inside. Sort of like… I'm not sure how to put it. Disconnected from reality? Numb? I couldn't really feel anything. Like all my senses were dull all of a sudden. I honestly thought I skated my best out there, and I really did. That's as much as I could manage alone. Because without you there, it's like a whole dimension of me is just… gone. Like I'm missing a part of who I am. Which on one hand makes no sense because I skated just fine before I even met you but… I don't know, being my coach for these past few months, I think you've helped me discover a powerful part of myself that I never even knew existed. You help me channel it out and put it all into my performance. I can't find it without you, no matter how hard I look. All I can think of is 'I can't lose, I can't let it end here, I must win'. Can't get much of an emotional performance out of that."

Victor is looking blankly into the empty space in front of him, not even blinking. Yuuri feels like he said something wrong. "Sorry, I'm talking too much."

"No, that's not it." Victor shakes his head, and finally looks at him pensively. "I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. I think your performance was emotional. You just weren't expressing love the way you usually would and couldn't make all the jumps, but it wasn't empty by any means. Call it determination or desperation or willpower or something else entirely but there was something spurring you on there. You didn't give up, you didn't freeze up, you fell and you picked yourself up and did everything to make up for it. That's not 'nothing', Yuuri. Of course, it wasn't perfect, and of course it felt different. But it wasn't bad at all. I think your emotions got across just fine."

"Thanks. I'm glad you think so." Yuuri smiles because no matter how many times he told himself his performance was okay, he couldn't quite convince himself and it still felt too weak to him. Only with Victor's approval can he finally feel satisfied with what he had shown in his Free Skate at the Rostelecom Cup. "But yeah, if you want to know how I felt then 'empty' is definitely the word."

"Which I can completely understand." Victor nods. "I've felt empty myself. I was exhausted and worried sick, but I knew that I had to be strong. You've shown me nothing but strength. I knew I would somehow have to manage, too. I did. We both did. But it was difficult to say the least. And how did you feel on Sunday?"

"Restless." Yuuri admits. "I just wanted to be home already. I wanted to be with you and Maccachin."

"I felt the same." Victor squeezes his hand tighter. "It's been a long few days, that's certain."

Yuuri thinks that in the end, it wasn't just the stress of the performance and of being alone in a foreign country and of Maccachin's condition that made it hard for them. It was that all throughout everything they didn't have the one thing they both needed most – each other.

He opens his mouth and begins to speak and suddenly Victor is pronouncing the same words simultaneously. "I wish I wouldn't have been alone."

They look at each other, startled, and continue at the same time.

It's absolutely magical.

"I mean, I know it was impossible but I just think it would have been so much easier if you were there with me."

They burst out laughing and Yuuri wonders when they got so in-sync.

"I missed you so much, Yuuri." Victor confesses as they gaze into each other's eyes. "I know that your presence wouldn't have healed Maccachin any faster but I just wish I could have held your hand as I waited at the vet's. I just wished I didn't have to carry it all on my own."

"And I know that I got into the Grand Prix Final but God, how I wish that you could have watched me live and hugged me then and there when I needed it most." Yuuri smiles and it's soft and gentle. "I mean, Yakov was a fair replacement but I missed you so _so_ much."

"Well, I'm here now. And you're here now." Victor grins and suddenly, he doesn't look like he hardly slept in the last 48 hours. "Both of us are finally here. Let's make the most of it, shall we?"

And Victor opens his arms and even if Yuuri has to awkwardly turn and the seats on the train aren't the most comfortable setting for it, he hugs Victor with all he's got. Victor doesn't remain indebted, holding him close, embracing his warmth as wholly as he can. They're together again and it's all real and the person they needed most is right where they needed them all along.

Yuuri loves every second of it.

And he loves how they don't even try to blame each other, how they both have full, unclouded understanding of the situation, how they don't even try to apologize. They've had their share of 'I'm sorry's already. Now they're just expressing their needs and wishes in the purest, most genuine way they can think of. It's also the simplest way – simply talking to each other. Yuuri likes to open up to Victor and he appreciates how Victor does the same to him. It's natural for them by now.

"Victor," Yuuri begins in a hushed voice. "Can I kiss you here?"

"Yes." Victor all but squeals in joy.

So Yuuri doesn't hesitate. He loosens his grip on Victor, only enough to be able to face him properly, not letting go of him entirely. And shutting his eyes, he slowly leans close until he can finally feel Victor's lips on his own. And even if it's only been a few days, it's really been too long since he felt that pleasant shiver traveling down his spine that always accompanied their kisses.

Yuuri wouldn't know how to describe their relationship, but ever since the Cup of China, they've been kissing _a lot_. That was hardly the only thing they did, as they've also gone much further (on Yuuri's own request and to the great pleasure of them both), but the two constants between them were doubtlessly hugs and kisses. Yuuri was certain that by now they were far closer to lovers than to merely a coach and his athlete, but they never felt the need to label themselves.

They didn't kiss much before the Rostelecom Cup. Yuuri discovered that kisses before competitions didn't help him at all and Victor understood and complied with his will. This means that the last time they kissed was in Japan.

Yuuri finds it fitting that it would be in Japan where they would be kissing once more.

It's a chaste kiss; Yuuri doesn't enjoy pushing his tongue down Victor's throat lest for very specific situations. Now, they're only letting their lips touch, ever so gently opening and closing their mouths, focusing more on the sensation of simply being together and being able to do it again, rather than the stimulation usually expected from the practice.

They smile when they finally pull away, their arms still loosely around the other. It's only been a few days, but Yuuri appreciates even the smallest things with twofold the force. It's only when Victor wasn't there that he noticed how much he _wanted_ him by his side, how much he wanted nothing but to feel his warmth again.

And he finally does.

"Yuuri, I'm never leaving you like that again." Victor smiles, but his eyes are sharp with resolve. "I won't let anything like this happen ever again."

"Neither will I." Yuuri agrees with a nod before pressing his forehead to Victor's. He can't see it, but he knows Victor is smiling.

They embrace each other once more and remain that way for the large part of the trip back home.

Both of them deserve it.

Victor after almost losing his life companion and watching his beloved struggle with his performance and being absolutely helpless throughout it all. Yuuri after almost losing what might have just been the most important competition of his life and not having anyone to help him deal with his mental state, while also not being there for his partner and his dog. They have both been through a lot. They have both been strong through all of it.

They don't need to be strong anymore.

They let their weaknesses, shortcomings, and insecurities out through their hugs.

It's the one thing that puts them at ease.

And after the recent events, ease is all they want.

* * *

By the time they arrive in Yuu-topia Hot Springs, it's well past midnight.

Yuuri only leaves his backpack in his own room and quickly heads to Victor's bedroom thereafter.

Victor greets him with a grin. Yuuri is glad to note that he shares his desire of doing nothing but falling asleep in his tight embrace.

They both turn around as they strip to their underwear – their mutual courtesy, of sorts. They prefer leaving watching each other undress for more erotic occasions. Now, they only wish to find some rest, and the only one watching them is Maccachin, who has been wagging his tail at Yuuri ever since he first saw him at the airport.

"Hey, shall we sleep together tonight, baby?" Yuuri coos sweetly and Victor can't help the smirk on his lips at the endearment.

"Of course." Victor chuckles as he turns around, only to find Yuuri sitting on the floor and lovingly stroking Macchachin's neck.

"Ah, I was talking to…" the younger skater attempts to explain with a tentative smile.

"Oh, you meant the dog." Victor realizes and immediately bursts out laughing. Yuuri accompanies him with his own giggle until they force themselves to calm down when Macchachin starts barking in excitement. "Well, that was stupid of me."

"I'd rather call it 'cute'." Yuuri corrects and leans in close to leave a kiss on Victor's cheek. "Think he can sleep with us?"

"Yeah, he should be fine." Victor smiles. "I've spent at least three quarters of my Sunday clinging to him and he's still as good as ever so I'm sure he won't mind a night of being squashed between us."

"I think he likes the attention." Yuuri nods, ushering the dog onto the bed.

"He's not the only one." Victor smiles, gently threads his fingers through Yuuri's hair and rests his forehead against his, the sides of their noses touching. Yuuri cups his cheek in turn and they remain frozen for some time, simply taking in each other's presence moment by moment, breath by breath. Yuuri never thought that something so simple could make him so happy. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, he concludes.

They climb the bed before long and lay down with Maccachin between them. Facing each other, they hold hands and just watch each other smiling for the longest time. Finally, Yuuri sits up, presses a kiss to Victor's lips and turns out the lights. He knows his coach is smiling and he replies with the same himself, despite knowing that they can no longer see each other in the darkness.

Yuuri's finds Victor's hand and intertwines their fingers regardless.

"Victor," Yuuri begins softly. "Thank you so much for coming all the way to Fukuoka for me."

"I would have gone back to Moscow if it meant that I could see you at least a few hours sooner." Victor confesses and Yuuri sort of feels like crying again. "But your flight back was entirely booked already so… "

"The fact that you actually checked that makes me so incredibly happy already." Yuuri admits, his voice slightly trembling as he finds himself overwhelmed by the realization of how much Victor must love him. He squeezes his hand tighter. "Thank you, Victor. Thank you for everything."

"Thank you, too, Yuuri." Victor whispers sweetly, stroking down Yuuri's palm with one of his fingers. "I'm so happy you're finally back."

"I'm happy to be back." Yuuri replies with a tired smile.

He falls asleep peacefully for the first time in a few long days.

* * *

"Yuuri." Victor is gently stroking down his cheek. "Open your eyes, Yuuri."

Yuuri knows it's morning – he can see how bright it is even through his eyelids. He struggles to pull them apart, sees Victor for a brief second, smiles and closes his eyes once more.

"Yuuri." Victor chuckles. "Come now, I've got something for you."

Yuuri moans reluctantly, turning to his side. And then he notices it. Something smells nice.

His eyes flutter open and he blinks a few times, trying to adjust to the lighting and wake up all at once.

"Here." Victor tilts Yuuri's chin with his finger and guides his gaze to the bowl on his lap. "Guess what it is?"

"Breakfast?" Yuuri suggests before a yawn splits his mouth open. He slowly stretches out on the bed.

"Well, yes." Victor nods with a smile, watching Yuuri slowly sit up. "But something more specific?"

"Oh, katsudon." Yuuri pronounces sleepily, rubs his eyes and a small smile grows on his lips. "Is this for the Rostelecom Cup? I don't think I really deserve one."

"It's not for the Rostelecom Cup." Victor agrees with a knowing smirk. He motions his head to the smartphone laying on the bedside table. "Look at the date. Happy birthday, Yuuri!"

Yuuri blinks, then immediately scrambles to pick up his phone, unlocks it and notices the date. It's the 29th of November. How could he have forgotten about his own birthday?

No, he feels like he knows the answer to that question. He _knew_ that his birthday was on the first Tuesday after the Rostelecom Cup but with everything that happened he completely lost track of time. And there is a more urgent question dawning in his mind. "How did you know?"

"All of your friends and family sent me like four reminders each." Victor laughs and Yuuri can't help grinning in response. The older skater then pulls a cone-shaped colorful cardboard hat from behind him and secures it on Yuuri's head. "Here's your party hat. Now, eat up. Your mom made it but I helped. Hope it's good."

It's only a pork cutlet bowl but Yuuri thinks he might just tear up. "Thank you, Victor." He pulls him close and presses a kiss to his lips. "I love it."

"At least try it first." Victor chuckles, passing him the bowl and the chopsticks.

Yuuri doesn't keep him waiting long, quickly digging into the meal and eating at least a quarter of the bowl before he can stop himself.

"It's great." He smiles, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Really, thanks Victor."

"Glad you like it." Victor nods with a grin, takes Yuuri's hand and presses a kiss to the top of his palm.

Yuuri strokes his cheek in return and they end up fondly touching each other and exchanging tender smiles and enamored gazes for so long that Yuuri almost forgets about his katsudon.

Yuuri thinks that, rationally-speaking, the dish must taste the way it usually does. But considering that it was brought to him and partially made by Victor, he finds it especially delicious.

With something so small, he already feels like his twenty-fourth birthday is better than most in his recent memory.

* * *

The rest of the day is calm and mellow – and it's just the thing Yuuri needs.

He's happy just being able to relax at home with Victor, but the fact that it's his birthday mixed in with the recent overabundance of stress makes everything feel at least a hundred times more pleasant.

In the evening, his family and friends throw him a small surprise part, and it's really nothing big, only dinner with cake and birthday decorations, but Yuuri loves every second of it. It's been five years since he last celebrated this way and for the first time in such a long time he feels like aging might not be so bad. His mom and dad and sister and Yuuko and Nishigori and the triplets and Minako-sensei and Maccachin and _Victor_ are all there and they're there for _Yuuri_ and it's all good cheer and fun times. Yuuri feels so loved. In so many different ways, he feels _loved_.

Just when he feels that everything is already perfect, everyone brings him a gift. And some of them are the smallest things, like socks from his sister or cufflinks from Yuuko, but Yuuri is overjoyed by the simple fact that everyone thought of him and chose something especially with him in mind. Of course, he also celebrated back in Detroit but everything was much humbler with just Phichit and coach Celestino. And this… this, he hadn't felt in a while.

The moment Maccachin brings him the gift from Victor in an elegant paper bag held in his muzzle, Yuuri actually tears up. When he opens the present, he learns that it's a necktie – burgundy, thick, 100% silk. It's a thing of beauty.

"I figured we could add some variety to your formal wear." Victor explains with a smile, consciously omitting the mention of his wish to burn that baby blue tie in which Yuuri appeared on TV.

"It's lovely, thank you." Yuuri replies with tears in his eyes and presses a kiss to his cheek. He doesn't care that all the closest people to him are watching them – they've seen what happened at the Cup of China and they know how they act at home. Yuuri doesn't feel the need to hide anything. Judging from Victor's tender smile – he feels the same.

When the party ends, everyone heads home and Yuuri and Victor move to Victor's room.

"Did you have fun today?" The older skater wonders and Yuuri feels like the answer should be obvious.

"Yes. I haven't had a birthday this fun in years." Yuuri admits and hugs his coach on spur of the moment. "You planned it, didn't you?"

"Minako was a big help." Victor chuckles. "I wouldn't have been able to explain everything to your parents without her translating."

"Thank you so much, Victor." Yuuri squeezes him tightly. "You're the best."

"Only because you deserve it." Victor laughs and Yuuri could swear that his chest had never felt this warm. It's an amazing feeling.

Once they're in bed, it's without Maccachin, the dog demoted to sleeping on the floor for the night.

"Hey, Yuuri." Victor calls to him softly, lying right beside him and gently catching his gaze. "If, hypothetically, you could get anything in the world as a gift for your birthday, what would you like to get?"

Yuuri never asked himself the question before, but he somehow knows the answer. "Nothing." He pronounces quietly, cupping Victor's cheek. "The months I spent with you were the best gift I've ever gotten."

Victor is complete caught off guard. He opens his mouth, closes it, shuts his eyes and in an instant, there are tears running down his cheeks. He presses his hand to his mouth and shakes his head, as though trying to collect himself and failing. "Sorry." He finally pronounces and it's wet and shaken and raw. "I wasn't prepared for that. Thank you, Yuuri."

"Thank _you_ , Victor." Yuuri insists and cuddles up to Victor's chest.

"Here's to many more months together, yeah?" the older skater gently strokes down his back and presses a kiss to the top of Yuuri's head.

"Yeah." Yuuri agrees.

Victor isn't aware but Yuuri is crying, too.

He wipes his tears in Victor's t-shirt.

Because Victor still doesn't know that everything will be over after the Grand Prix Final.

Yuuri still doesn't have the courage to tell him.

* * *

The two weeks pass by in the blink of an eye and Victor and Yuuri finally find themselves in Barcelona.

They arrive on Monday afternoon – three days before Yuuri's Short Program on Friday.

They want to have enough time to get over their jetlag and do some sightseeing. They _are_ in Barcelona after all and they agree that it would be a huge waste to spend their entire stay in the beautiful city rotating between the hotel and the ice rink.

The first thing they do when they arrive is sleep, absolutely exhausted after the over twenty-hour-long trip featuring two different connections and one delay on the way. They don't even make it to their room – they fall asleep on the couch in the hotel lobby while waiting to pick up their key cards.

Yuuri wakes only upon hearing a familiar voice.

"Wake up, katsudon!" Yurio groans, nudging his leg with his foot. "I'm tired of looking over your stuff, I wanna go to my room too."

"Yurio?" Yuuri asks sleepily, pushing up his glasses up the bridge of his nose and squinting at the Russian boy. "When did you get here?"

"Like an hour ago." The blond shrugs, looking annoyed. "An hour spent watching your suitcases because I found you two idiots taking a nap in the foyer and hoped that you'd wake up if I waited long enough."

"Guess you got bored?" Yuuri attempts a smile. "Thank you though."

"I got sick of waiting. And I need to pee. So yeah, get your asses up and go sleep in your room." Yurio shakes his head as though he's the only mature one here.

"You don't seem too tired, Yurio." Yuuri notices, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"Well duh, it's less than five hours from Saint Petersburg to get here." The kid shrugs, then smirks. "Jealous?"

" _So_ jealous." Yuuri agrees with a nod and quickly moves on to waking Victor with a gentle kiss on the cheek and a light shake on his shoulder.

"I'll see you around, katsudon." Yurio calls as he walks away. "Don't fall asleep on the ice."

"You wish!" Yuuri laughs, watching the blond disappear behind the corner.

He thinks that Yurio is not a bad kid at all and sort of wishes he could get to know him better. He wakes his parental instincts and Yuuri doesn't exactly hate it.

"Sorry, Yuuri, I fell asleep." Victor sighs as he slowly wakes and rubs his temples.

"It's okay. I did too." Yuuri assures with a tired smile. "Let's go pick up our key and sleep on an actual bed now."

"Yeah." Victor smiles back. "Let's."

* * *

They only manage to pick themselves up and leave the hotel on Tuesday morning. They must admit – it's a lovely morning. It's nowhere near as cold as it was in Russia and it's way sunnier than Hasetsu at this time of year. It almost feels like spring. Both, Victor and Yuuri choose their paths so that they catch as much sun as they can.

They eat breakfast in town as one of the few people who choose to sit outside of the café in December. But the weather is lovely and they bask in the unusually warm sun, enjoying every second of its shine.

They explore the city until lunch, where they share their positive impressions in a considerably fancy restaurant and decide to return to the hotel for a nap. They're still not quite used to the different timezone and want to rest after the thrilling first round of sightseeing.

Cuddling on their large bed, they entirely forget to set an alarm and only wake a little past 10 pm. Victor is the one to wake up first and wake his partner this time. "Sorry, we sort of… slept through half of the day." He apologizes.

When Yuuri's consciousness returns he only shakes his head and shrugs. "Well, we can't turn back time anyway. Should we order dinner?"

"Yeah, let's." Victor replies with a smile. "After that, think we could still go out for a bit? I bet the city is beautiful at night."

"Yeah, that sounds great." Yuuri agrees with an excited grin. They replenished plenty of energy by now. Yuuri is more than ready to see Barcelona by dark.

* * *

It's all even more beautiful than he imagined it.

He knows that each city has its own feeling to it by night, but midnight Barcelona with Victor is nothing short of magical. It's unlike anything he had ever experienced.

They end up stopping by the Cathedral of the Holy Cross and Saint Eulalia. Yuuri remembers passing by the building during the day, and wanting to enter it on the next convenient occasion. The gates are closed now, but they stand in front of them regardless.

"It's a beautiful place, isn't it?" Victor muses, looking up at the structure from where they stand.

"It really is." Yuuri agrees with a smile. He thinks it's romantic, and figures that's exactly what Victor meant.

The next instant, he opens his palms and extends them in Yuuri's direction. "Can I?"

There are few people around, and Yuuri smiles and places his hands in Victor's gentle grasp. Victor grins in reply.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, Yuuri." He admits and Yuuri blinks in surprise, wondering where he's going with the statement. "How far you've come as a skater and as a person, how proud of you I am, how happy I am that I get to coach you."

Yuuri nods, if only to show that he's following him.

"But I also got to thinking how much I love spending time with you, whether it's in competitions, or in practice or just at home in Hasetsu, just laying around or sitting in the hot springs." Victor continues and his voice is soft and gentle and Yuuri loves the sound of every syllable. His eyes are cast down at their hands, and Yuuri follows his gaze, noticing how warm Victor's palms are in comparison to his own. He intertwines their fingers and they share the pleasant warmth, smiling.

"And I realized how much I love you." Victor confesses and Yuuri immediately looks back up at his face, his mouth falling agape, watching his calm, beautiful, all but vulnerable expression.

They've said those words before. Once.

This feels nothing like the time at the airport.

Back then, Yuuri said it on impulse.

But he meant it.

That hasn't changed.

What had changed was the setting, the fact that the words are no longer spoken in the middle of an emotional reunion.

But in a quiet moment when both of them can think and act rationally.

And Yuuri knows only one, true response.

"I love you, too, Victor." Yuuri pronounces confidently. "I love being with you, I love everything about you. And it's unlike any sort of love I've ever experienced. It's… unique."

"I feel the same, Yuuri." Victor admits, finally looking up, his blue eyes the clearest expression of adoration Yuuri could imagine. "And… consider it silly, but I was thinking that I'd like to spend the following years of my life with you."

"It's not silly." Yuuri smiles. "I'd like that, too."

"You would?" Victor chuckles and only now does Yuuri notice how nervous his coach really is. "Then I have just one more question."

Victor lets go of his hands, takes a step back, and reaches into the pocket of his coat. Yuuri wonders if his eyes are deceiving him when he sees Victor lower his stance. But they aren't; Victor kneels on the cold stone of the entrance to the cathedral and extends an open velvet box in his hand. A silver ring rests inside. "Would you do me the huge honor and marry me, Katsuki Yuuri?"

It's all so unreal.

And just then, the reality of it all hits Yuuri.

And it's really more than he can handle.

"Victor, I love you." He begins and he's afraid that his desperate tone is too telling. Victor's sudden frown seems to confirm it, but he can't stop now. He has to tell him properly. "Victor, I love you, but… I can't. I'm sorry, I can't."

And it hurts. He shuts his eyes tightly, already feeling the tears gather underneath his eyelids. He refuses to look at the pain in Victor's features. He's hurting himself and he's hurting Victor but he can't say yes. Not like this.

"That's okay." Victor assures but he sounds like he's about to cry himself. "I guess I am getting ahead of myself. We've only known each other for a few months. You're probably right. I was just… hopeful, I guess. But you're right. It's probably better like this."

"No, Victor, I…" Yuuri wants to explain but he's suddenly bawling, sobs escaping his mouth in a cascade until he can't properly catch his breath. "I… I. I just… I…" he begins hyperventilating before he can help it.

"Yuuri, breathe." Victor tells him softly, the way he usually would, as though his marriage proposal wasn't just rejected. "Relax, Yuuri. Sit down, just breathe."

And Yuuri listens because his chest hurts for more than one reason and he knows that Victor is right. He sits down on the steps of the cathedral and Victor sits right beside him, his arm around his back, supporting him, reminding him that he is right there. "It's okay, Yuuri. You're okay. I'm not upset. We're okay."

And Yuuri knows that they're as far from okay as they've ever been. But he knows that panicking now will get them nowhere, knows that he needs to calm down and he listens to Victor repeating the words over and over again, in that kind tone which he feels that he really doesn't deserve.

It takes Yuuri a longer moment to stop crying and start breathing normally again. And only when he does, does he finally open his eyes and look at Victor. And his coach is not crying and he's not angry. But his face is bent in the saddest, most profoundly hurt expression Yuuri could ever imagine, as though he's holding himself back from crying only because he knows that he needs to help Yuuri. Thinking that it's all his fault for making Victor feel like that, Yuuri feels like he could burst into tears once more. But he takes a deep breath and decides to speak.

His voice is the saddest, weakest, most whiny thing Yuuri has ever produced, but he wants to ask Victor one thing. "Would you hate me if I asked you for a hug right now?"

"I would never hate you, Yuuri." Victor smiles and Yuuri knows how much effort it must cost him and he throws himself in his arms. And Victor takes him in, holds him close, as though nothing had happened. But Yuuri can feel that he's barely keeping it together, his arms shaking as he squeezes him, his breath uneven. He never thought Victor was capable of such intense reactions. Then again, who was Yuuri to speak? He just rejected his marriage proposal. This is the reaction of a man who meant every word, who genuinely expected a yes, who loved him more than anything and anyone. A man whose heart he just shattered. A man who still loves him. And Yuuri knows that he owes him an apology at the very least.

"Victor, I can explain." Yuuri begins quietly, his arms still closed around his coach. "If you're willing to listen, I'll tell you everything."

"If you would be so kind to tell me, I'd love to understand." Victor admits, loosening his grip around him and Yuuri pulls away so that they can talk face to face.

"It's two things, Victor." Yuuri begins, taking a deeper breath. "One of them being something I kept from you for too long now. And I didn't mean to, but I just couldn't find the time to say it. I was so happy… I completely forgot."

"Just tell me now, Yuuri." Victor encourages with a sigh.

"I'm retiring after this Grand Prix Final, Victor." He finally pronounces and it's as though he punched himself in the stomach. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I know you wanted to coach me for as long as possible, but… I'm happy with what I've already achieved. I want to finish on a high note. But I want to finish. My career was good while it lasted. It's time to step down."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Victor admits. "You're such a fantastic skater. I wish you'd give yourself even more time to grow."

"I don't think there's any point to it now." Yuuri sighs. "Remember how I said that I want you to be my coach and take care of me until I retire? I already knew I would be retiring after this GPF. And regardless of my results I also already knew that I wanted you to stop being my coach after this event."

"I guess I am a pretty bad coach after all, huh?" Victor sighs, looking at his hands sadly.

"You're not!" Yuuri raises his voice. "You're amazing, you really are. And… this is why I wanted you to quit coaching after the Final and why I can't accept your proposal. Victor, I… I can't keep you all to myself. Not when you're still fit and able and can deliver stunning performances. Your career is not over. You can return to coaching once you retire properly but if you're only taking a break now, then I've already taken up too much of your time. We can only skate competitively for as long as our bodies allow it. And as much as I want to stay with you, I _can't_ take this time away from you. Not when you're still able to skate and do it so beautifully. Victor, I _can't._ "

"That's a hell lot of assumptions you made there." Victor scoffs and it sounds frustrated, but somehow… relieved. "The biggest one being that I'd just nod and walk away when you'd tell me to step down as your coach."

"But you'd have to step down if I retired." Yuuri argues.

"Is that why you're retiring? To get rid of me?" Victor asks, but rather than angry, he only sounds sad. Hurt.

"God, of course not." Yuuri assures. "But if I weren't retiring I would have also encouraged you to go back to Russia."

"Who said I even _want_ to go back to Russia?" Victor opposes.

"Don't you?" Yuuri blinks in surprise. "That's where your family, friends and home is."

"Yuuri, I have no family." Victor pronounces coldly, his eyes fixed on the ground. "I would say that Yakov is the closest I have to a family member and a friend all at once. And home… My home is where you are, Yuuri."

It's such a sweet thing to say and Yuuri smiles, but quickly notices the wince in Victor's features, the way he clenches his teeth, like he's saying too much, like he knows that he should control himself because this is not the time for such lines, but he loves Yuuri so much that he can't help himself.

"It's where your skating career is, Victor." Yuuri tries a different approach, bringing an arm around his waist, attempting to provide at least minimal comfort.

"That's the other thing. Who said I even _want_ a skating career anymore?" Victor tosses his hair to the side and through the agitation in his features, Yuuri can tell that he's thought the issue through many times.

"You don't?" Yuuri feels like he doesn't sound as surprised as he should. And he's _shocked_. "Do you really not want it? I would never imagine that someone who can create such beautiful programs, find such good music, design such appealing costumes like you would want to quit. I mean, didn't you love surprising people? I thought… I thought you did it all because you enjoyed it."

"I did. I still do." Victor nods and his clouded expression clears up, at least a little, as far as Yuuri can tell. "But being with you made me realize how much _more_ I enjoy all of it when I'm doing it for someone else. How exciting the competitions are again. How I have someone to incite emotions in me and someone to share them with all at once. I also thought I enjoyed figure skating. But it's nothing compared to coaching."

"But you can coach again once you retire." Yuuri argues. "Why not return to competitive skating while you still can? For a year or two at least?"

"But why should I?" Victor tilts his head in question. "Just think about it Yuuri. After winning five consecutive World Championships, five straight Grand Prix Finals, and numerous European championships, what is left for me to achieve? Six consecutive wins? Seven? What's the point, Yuuri? And where do I stop? The moment I get my first silver and the legend of Victor Nikiforov ends?"

"That must be a nice issue to have." Yuuri sighs, remembering his own inferiority.

"I'm aware that this is very much privileged banter on my side. But the issue is a valid one. Because really, what's the point of even trying when competitions are no longer stimulating and you just win everything one by one?" Victor muses and Yuuri chooses to listen rather than make it about himself. "This past spring, after the season was over, I was looking for reasons why I should continue. Most skaters retire by the time they're my age, I'm sure you know that. So, I was looking for motivation; for one good reason why I should keep trying. And then, I found you."

And for the first time in a few minutes, they look each other in the eyes and it's as though they're doing it for the first time ever. "I had no coaching experience whatsoever and I know it still shows but the moment I saw you I thought 'this is it. This is what I want to do with my life'. Or, at least I wanted to try. I wanted to see if this was for me, helping someone grow, drawing out their potential and all. And then I met you and I knew that we would work well together, despite our differences. I had more fun while coaching you than I had when skating for the past few years. And then I got to know you and I fell so helplessly in love that I can't stand the thought of being separated from you for more than a few hours. That's what brought us here, I suppose."

Victor taps the lid of the velvet box with a sad smile. "I'm too Goddamn greedy."

"You're not." Yuuri insists, softly placing his hand on Victor's. The man doesn't shake it off and Yuuri goes on. "Victor, trust me when I say that I love you and I can't even think of how I would go on without you by my side and if I could I would spend every breathing second of the rest of my life with you. But… But I'm afraid, Victor. I know it sounds stupid. I love you but I'm afraid to commit."

"It's not stupid, Yuuri." Victor counters with a soft smile and Yuuri can tell that he's slowly returning to being the man he usually is. "But can you explain to me why? I want to understand."

"Victor, I'm afraid that one day, you'll hate me." Yuuri pronounces on an exhale and the words just leave his body all in one row. "That one day you'll realize that what we've built up in those few months wasn't actually enough for marriage, that you've gotten ahead of yourself, that there isn't as much between us as we thought there was, that all these emotions were transient or weak or something else entirely, and we were blinded by them at them time but they're ultimately not enough for us to stay together. But by the time you'll realize it, we'll have been married for a year maybe two, but you'll realize that you made a decision too quickly, that we're too different from each other after all, that 'love' just isn't enough to maintain a proper relationship and everything will crumble and we'll get a divorce and you'll realize that you left your figure skating career behind for a stupid Japanese kid who wasn't worth your time and these few happy months we had will be overwritten by weeks of fights and spite and grudge and we'll look at each other and think 'how could I have fallen in love with _that_ '. I don't want that, Victor. I'm afraid."

Before he can stop himself, Yuuri is crying again, now more softly, but just as genuinely as before. He knows it's his insecurity speaking but he also knows he has a point. He wishes he didn't have a point, that it would all be abstract and unrealistic. But it isn't.

"Shh, it's okay, Yuuri." Victor coos, bringing his arm around him. "I understand that you're afraid. Everyone's afraid. But let me at least tell you that I would never hate you."

"You say that, but those things happen, don't they?" Yuuri sobs, ineffectively trying to wipe his eyes under his glasses. "People get married too quickly and they end up regretting it. It happens all the time. How are we any different? Why do we deserve to be happy but thousands of other couples will get divorced and hate each other for the rest of their lives? I think it's much more likely that we'd be one of those thousands of couples. And I don't want that."

"But would you want to stay together?" Victor blinks in thought. "You don't have to answer, I'm just wondering."

"Yes." Yuuri pronounces firmly, finally wiping his cheeks and taking a deep breath. "God, all I want to do is stay with you. But I'm afraid of marriage. And I'm afraid of keeping you all to myself when you still have a skating career for you out there. That's what it comes down to."

"I'll announce my retirement with you, Yuuri." Victor declares, his gaze pensive.

"What? You can't do that." Yuuri panics.

"Why not? It has nothing to do with you." Victor shrugs decidedly. "I've made up my mind beforehand, this isn't an impulsive decision. Guess neither of us told the other until now, huh?"

"But… are you sure? You can still skate." Yuuri tries to argue.

"So can you." Victor counters. "You've never suffered any large injuries, you're in a prime physical condition, and with your stamina you could skate for as much as four more years. But it's not about being able to skate, is it? You just want to retire for your own personal reasons. Well, so do I. I am more than satisfied of what I achieved; competitive skating doesn't make me happy anymore. I'll end it all on a good note and move on to a successful coaching career. That's what I've decided."

"And you won't regret it? A year, five years, ten years in the future, you won't regret it?" Yuuri questions desperately.

"No." Victor shakes his head. "I've won all there was to win in the world of figure skating. And if I can be honest, I've been contemplating retiring ever since last year's Final. I just didn't know what I'd do next, what I'd move on to. I said I was taking a break just to have a safe spot I could fall back to. Now, I know exactly what I want. And I know that the only thing I've regretted in these past few months was leaving you alone at the Rostelecom cup. Nothing else. In fact, I'd regret going back to Russia and back to my career more than anything else. I want to stay true to myself. I want to move on from competitive figure skating."

Yuuri takes a few deep breaths and a moment to think and he understands what Victor means. He's not quitting just to be with him; he's quitting because it's what he genuinely wants to do. And Yuuri refuses to stop him or tell him to skate again. He knows that if he asked enough, Victor would listen and continue his career against his will, just because he wouldn't want to make Yuuri feel guilty. He would go against himself just to keep Yuuri happy, even if he hated it. Yuuri realizes that it's time to stop acting like he knows Victor and what's best for him best and actually _listen_ to him and his desires. And if Victor _wants_ to retire, then Yuuri knows he has no right to stop him.

"Okay, Victor. I understand your choice." Yuuri finally nods.

Victor grins and it's the warmest smile Yuuri has seen from him tonight. "Thank you, Yuuri. I'm glad."

Yuuri kisses him on the cheek as a stamp of approval, of sorts, and Victor chuckles.

He then looks at the small box in his hands and his laughter dies. "And what do we do about this, Yuuri? I can probably still return it. I wonder if they get a lot of engagement ring returns." He holds his breath for a moment. "Anyway, if you don't want it, I won't pressure you. I understand that you're afraid and marriage isn't something that you should jump into before you're ready. I suppose the culture of proposing is pretty weird. It's all about surprising the other person, but also putting them in a tight spot. The only acceptable answer is 'yes' and the moment someone hesitates or says 'no' it's almost like they're saying that they don't love you, when really, they're only saying that they're not ready. That's not a bad thing. It's natural."

Yuuri knows that Victor is hurt and yet his understanding of the situation leaves him in awe.

Yuuri wants to be fair to him, wants to give him a proper answer.

So he takes a moment and considers the situation, all the arguments for and against.

And it's easy to find the arguments for, literally every second spent with Victor reminds him how much he wants to stay with him. But they don't need to be _married_ to stay together. But with every passing minute, Yuuri thinks that perhaps he'd like them to be married. His fear aside, he loves the thought of being Victor's husband. And that's just the top of the list.

Somehow, arguments against are hard to find. Yuuri's half-rational fear is the only relevant one. Because really, Victor's career is no longer an issue. In just a few days, he will stop owing anything to the figure skating world, and he hardly has anything to come home to in Russia. And most importantly, he _doesn't want_ to leave Yuuri's side.

Thinking about it now, Yuuri realizes he's really dumb.

He thought that the man who offered him marriage would just return to Russia after Yuuri made him step down as his coach and act like nothing happened, like he wasn't insanely in love with him, like he could just leave without him. And perhaps a man like that existed somewhere. But it most certainly wasn't Victor.

Why did it take him so long to see it?

"Victor." He begins suddenly, firmly. "I have an idea. And it's really random and arbitrary but it might just work."

"Do share." Victor smiles and it's both calm and nervous at the same time. Which makes hardly any sense, but Yuuri can't blame Victor for the mess of emotions inside him.

"Victor, I…" he takes a deep breath. "I can say yes to marriage. But on one condition – it's not immediate marriage. We don't just return to Japan and go to Shibuya and sign the papers immediately after the Final. I want us to be fiancés longer. Maybe… let's say until same sex marriage is legal in all of Japan? Then we can get our marriage license from somewhere in Saga and have our wedding in Hasetsu. I mean, that's if we still want to get married by then. If we discover that we don't actually want to go that far or our relationship doesn't work out then we'll just take the ring off and act like nothing happened. If we _do_ still want to get married by then… then we do. And we live happily ever after, the end."

"So… you want a sort of 'trial period'?" Victor smiles hopefully.

"It sounds stupid when you put it like that." Yuuri can virtually feel the warmth flooding his cheeks.

"It doesn't." Victor laughs. "I like that idea. How long do you think it'll be before it's legalized in all of Japan?"

"I don't really know." Yuuri shrugs. "Anywhere between two to ten years, I'd assume. It seems people are starting to open up and accept the idea. So it shouldn't be long."

"Ten years as Yuuri's beloved fiancé? Yes, please." Victor grins and Yuuri replies with the same. "Does that mean that you'll accept the ring? As a… long-term promise, shall we say?"

"Yes." Yuuri smiles and places his hand on Victor's palm. "I will _eventually_ marry you, Victor Nikiforov."

And Victor knows that's his queue. He opens the box, pulls out the ring and slowly, carefully, slides it up the ring finger of Yuuri's left hand.

They smile at each and they're so happy, it's as though they've never _actually_ seen each other smile.

They don't hesitate, immediately leaning close, exchanging their first post-engagement kisses. Yuuri thinks that logically, they aren't that different from their usual kisses. But he _feels_ like they're worlds apart, sweet, but firm in a way he never knew before. They're unique, one of a kind. He lets his emotional side take over. Victor just became his fiancé. It's one of the grandest, happiest, most beautiful moments in his life. Their kisses are stellar, and for that one moment, they get lost in a universe of their own.

* * *

On their way back to the hotel, Yuuri inspects his ring.

It's a thing of beauty.

It's a smooth silver band which melts neatly into a discreet round citrine in its center.

Yuuri always thought that gemstones were for female rings but he's changed his mind since receiving the ring.

It's not masculine, not in that boastful, superfluous way that he's seen on some men, with the stone being a rectangle the width of their finger.

It's small and round and tasteful. More than anything, it's beautiful. Yuuri thinks that something so precious can't possibly have a gender.

It's the best engagement ring he's ever seen and he's in love with it almost as much as he's in love with Victor.

And just as they walk down the street, nearing their hotel, Yuuri spots a store of the same maker down the street.

He already knows what he wants to do.

When they arrive at the hotel, he watches Victor enter the bathroom, hears the sound of the shower and rushes back out to the late-night streets of Barcelona.

It's a miracle that it's still open at this hour.

Asking at the counter for what he's looking for, he shows his own ring and watches the employee smile as he briefly disappears behind a door.

Yuuri quickly calls Victor, telling him he forgot his gloves at the cathedral, which is one huge lie because he never took them out of his suitcase, but he hopes that that will make Victor worry less.

Victor doesn't worry. He chuckles on the phone. "Be back soon, okay? I miss you."

Yuuri will be right back and with something much better than gloves. "I love you, Victor." He tries to make it sound casual but every time he says it, it's like he's confessing for the first time.

"Love you too, Yuuri." They end the call as Yuuri finds just the thing he wanted.

He pays and runs all the way back to the hotel and doesn't even get tired (thank God for stamina).

When he finally reaches their floor, he hides the box in his pocket and knocks on the door. Victor opens almost immediately. "I was starting to worry that you took the ring and made a run for it." He laughs.

Yuuri certainly took a ring and definitely _ran_ but not in the meaning Victor had implied. "Sorry to worry you. I'm back now."

"It's always so good to have you back." Victor admits, bringing him close in a quick embrace.

"Yeah." Yuuri grins, and they settle on the bed. He looks his fiancé in the eyes. "Victor."

"Yeah?" he holds his gaze with a soft smile.

"I just want you to know that I love you and I want to be with you for as long as humanly possible." Yuuri opens the box in his pocket, takes out the ring, and gently holds Victor's hand as he slips it on. "And I just wanted you to wear a proof of my love for you."

Victor opens his mouth and looks at the ring, breathless.

"I can't really ask you to marry me because we've already established that we would and I don't want us to repeat ourselves too much, and I know that maybe this is less romantic than a proper proposal, but I'm not really sure how I should handle this situation so let me just tell you that I am still, forever in your care and I hope to wake up and fall asleep and happily spend each day by your side, every single day for as long as possible. And… no matter what happens next, I want it to remind you of the good times we've had." Yuuri pronounces on one breath, and it's the first thing he thinks of and he hopes it's good enough.

His eyes stay on Victor's hand, afraid to look up, waiting for a response.

The first thing he hears is a sob.

His eyes rising to Victor's face, he notices he's wincing, his teeth clenched, his eyes shut tightly, red and wet.

"Victor." Yuuri coos quietly and holds him close. Victor only buries his face in the crook of Yuuri's neck and cries quietly.

"Jesus Christ, Yuuri." He finally pronounces, his voice raw. "Warn me or something next time. You're making me so happy that my eyes start leaking."

"Oh, really?" Yuuri chuckles. "And who said 'what's the point if you don't surprise them?'"

"Oh, _now_ you're quoting me." Victor laughs and pulls away and his face is a wet mess but Yuuri can confirm that he's never seen his more overjoyed. Victor takes a deeper breath. "Thank you so much, Yuuri. I'll treasure it as much as I treasure you."

They both hold out their hands with their respective rings in front of them, and Victor places his palm on top of Yuuri's in order to compare them.

"They're almost identical." Victor laughs. "I love it."

"Yeah." Yuuri smiles, proud of his find. Victor's ring is the same simple, but beautiful silver except it's crowned with a blue topaz. "I figured it would go well with your eyes."

"It's wonderful." Victor admits with a grin.

They gush over their respective rings for a long time before finally undressing and collapsing onto the bed in a mess of kisses, licks and bites.

With every deliberate touch, they make sure their bands stay in their partner's field of view, making both of them smile.

It's the happiest sex they've ever had.

They both know why.

They're engaged.

Both with a ring to prove it.

It's the happiest they've ever been.

* * *

Yuuri goes down to breakfast alone in the morning, Victor having told him to only bring him some fruit and coffee.

They ended up staying up way later than intended and Victor wanted to get some more sleep, while Yuuri wished to eat before the buffet closed. They both did as they pleased. Yuuri wasn't even slightly upset, being well aware of Victor's morning habits. He'd gladly bring him his coffee and head out to the city together in the early afternoon.

On his way down the corridor, Yuuri notices the familiar blond skater walking in the opposite direction and stopping by what Yuuri assumes was the door to his own room.

"Yurio! Morning!" he waves to him, excited.

"If it isn't katsudon." The kid smirks. "Hi. You look pretty terrible."

Yuuri smiles because he knows exactly how he looks the morning after. "Yeah."

"But also unusually happy. What's the good news?" he asks, most likely ironically, but Yuuri can't wait to share his happiness with the world.

"Promise not to tell anyone?" Yuuri asks, hiding his left hand behind his back.

"Yeah?" Yurio tilts his head and wrinkles his brows.

"Then look." He holds out his hand, the ring proudly displayed among his slim fingers.

"A… ring?" Yurio blinks, confused. "A ring makes you so happy?"

Yuuri chuckles at his innocence. He leans close and whispers by his ear. " _Engagement_ ring."

"What?!" Yurio immediately takes a step back, his eyes wide, his voice loud. "When? How? With whom?"

Yuuri opens his mouth but Yurio simply waves his hand at him to stop. "Wait. Don't tell me. It's _him_ isn't it?"

Yuuri nods, knowing very well that there was only one _him_ that Yurio could be referencing.

"Well, fuck me." Yurio shakes his head. "You're one lucky bastard, katsudon."

"I know." Yuuri smiles, proud.

"So, what do you plan to do now?" Yurio wonders, more curious than he should be letting on.

"Nothing yet. But in the future…" he wonders how much of the truth he wants to tell the kid. "One day, we think we'd like to become a coach duo and seek out underappreciated skaters and draw out their full potential."

"Oh, so now you're both playing mother Teresa? I see." The blond rolls his eyes.

"Well, it would be for a fee." Yuuri argues. "And yeah, we'd like to contribute to the figure skating community. There's so much unseen talent out there, you know?"

"If you're looking for underappreciated skaters then there's one right in front of you. One which Victor _promised_ something." He flicks his hair back. "Keep that in mind for the future."

"You'd like us to coach you?" Yuuri grins.

"N-No. That's not what I said!" the Russian boy flusters. "Victor just needs to make up for breaking his promise, that's all."

"Alright. I'll remind him." Yuuri promises and glances down at his phone. "Ah, sorry, I have to go now. Breakfast ends in fifteen minutes."

"Okay. Then see you." Yurio shrugs, pressing the keycard to his door. "And katsudon… Congrats."

"What?" Yuuri turns around, surprised, disbelieving that he heard the word he thought he heard. "Can you say that again?"

"I said: I'm gonna beat you so hard at the Final that you're gonna need your husband to wipe your pork cutlet tears. Now bye!" he yells before disappearing in his room and slamming the door shut behind him.

"He's not my husband." Yuuri laughs to himself. "Yet."

He has a good feeling about the Grand Prix Final.

He feels better than ever about his future after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Uploading this fic with the thought that it will stop being relevant in a few hours is actually quite sad. :')
> 
> But I'm glad to be writing for the YOI fandom again.
> 
> To be perfectly honest, I was really humbled by the success of two of my previous YOI fics and while I was overjoyed (thank you guys SO much for all your support <3), I was also afraid to write again, in case I would not live up to the expectations set by the previous stories.
> 
> And then this idea dawned on me and I just went: MUST. WRITE. And sacrificed uni and sleep again. I'm hopeless. xD
> 
> If you've read "Born to Make History" then you might have noticed I reused their engagement rings in this story. Couldn't help myself, I really like imagining that design.
> 
> If you had any thoughts and/or feelings while reading, please feel very welcome to leave me a comment! I really adore your feedback and it means everything to me. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story!
> 
> In any case: Thank you for reading and I hope you have a skate-tastic week and keep enjoying the beautiful show that is Yuri on Ice. ^^


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